I’m back! 

Chaos still reigns – last night was the first time in the whole 2.5 years since Little Terror came into the world that I actually wanted a glass of wine after he went to bed from sheer stress/having a meltdown (both me and him). And this is coming from someone who doesn’t really drink. I resisted the urge (drinking messes up my sleep and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s broken/disturbed sleep) and shared a bag of mini eggs with the Husband instead. 

Anyway – I promised myself I’d do two things this evening: 1) write this blog post and 2) rewrite the draft timeline/outline for my fantasy novel. I’ve been working on this novel for about 5 years now and I think I’ve built it up into this impossible thing in my head that will never get finished. When I wrote my first novel, I followed Roz Morris’ guide ‘Nail Your Novel’ as I’d never properly finished a novel before and I wanted to see if I could (and I did! And self published it! Yay!) – but with my fantasy novel, I decided to take a less prescriptive approach. Roz Morris’ book was SUPER helpful and there’s no way I ever would’ve managed to finish my first book without it, but I decided to see where a free-for-all, no time-limit approach would take me. Answer: I’m still working on the goddamn thing 5 years later. I have roughly 30 pages JUST OF NOTES, and 70 pages in my first draft – which isn’t even close to being even half-finished yet. 

It’s getting to the point where it’s starting to cause me major anxiety. Will it ever be finished? This is my first serious fantasy novel – will it even be any good when I do finish it? Will I ever get the time/sanity back to write again, after over 2 years ‘out of the game’? 

While I can’t definitely answer the first two questions right now, I can attempt to tackle the third. This website/blog is my attempt to keep me accountable with my writing – it’s a place to share my thoughts, frustrations and (hopefully) triumphs. I never realised how much I missed my old blog and the people I connected with on there until a few weeks ago when it really hit me how much I missed writing. It’s been a major part of my identity for as long as I can remember and I kinda lost it during the whirlwind of sleepless nights and exhausting days that come with raising a tiny human. But now that Little Terror has started to grow up and become (slightly) more independent, it’s time to turn my attention back to my passion – writing, writing and more writing. 

As for the first two questions – tonight, I’m going to dig out Roz Morris’ guide again, reread it and once again apply it to my own work. Having free rein to do what I like was incredibly freeing, but here’s what I’ve learnt – I’m someone who needs structure. I need organisation and deadlines, even if they’re self-imposed. I’ve already used some techniques in this novel (the post-its, the spreadsheet, the color coding) but I need to take it to the next level otherwise the goddamn thing will never get finished.

Watch this space! 

Until next time, 

Z 

xx